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Hello everyone and welcome to gameweek 5! Waivers this week are due on Thursday at 10:30am PT / 1:30pm ET! Some very dramatic matchups this week, led by my absolutely wild last second win against Kevin 47-46. Elsewhere, Zach picked up a big 3 points at the last second with his narrow 55-52 victory over Jesse and Coop put up an enormous 70 points to Darryan's 37. Full matchups are as follows:

• Alex 34-44 Luke
• Matthew 47-46 Kevin
• MatthewR 41-21 John
• Zach 55-52 Jesse
• Chris 39-58 Dylan
• Coop 70-37 Darryan

League Table

Weekly Matchups

And over on the table, I somehow retained my spot at the top on PF over Luke, Coop, and MatthewR, who join me on 9 points! A whole 6 managers sit on 6 points, with John and Alex still pointless this season.

Game changers!

• Luke: Pascal Groß - 17 pts - Another huge double digit haul for the German Messi as he one-upped his week 2 performance with an extra assist! (On top of his 1g1a) Surely he won't slow down as Brighton plays in Europe.
• Matthew: Josko Gvardiol - 11 pts - My transfer certainly did not hit VAR's bank account as Gvardiol somehow earned an assist that Enzo Fernandez made absolutely no attempt at heading toward goal. Nope. Anyway, the Croat's 11 pointer was huge, but this game changer could have gone to really anyone: Awoniyi for his red card, Hato and Belloumi for being subbed before 60', Ampadu's long throw I intuited would lead to a goal, etc.
• MatthewR: Alisson - 9 pts - A wildly boring game between Fulham and Liverpool led to a 0-0 draw and 2 bonus for Alisson. Nice.
• Zach: Kevin Schade - 15 pts - After being horribly inefficient in front of goal last season, Schade seems to have turned a corner, somehow using mind control on Petrovic to get him to pass him the ball directly to then chip into the net. Didn't even need to have someone on his team assist him. Efficient.
• Dylan: David Raya - 14 pts - What a save! Just an absurd penalty saved by Raya for a potentially contentious foul given to Sunderland and immediately led to a Bruno G screamer. A well deserved clean sheet + bonus for the Spaniard and his steel fingers.
• Coop: Jayden Bogle - 15 pts - A wild waiver pickup for Coop not only saw Bogle head home DCL's header (supposedly) but also get subbed before the clean sheet wipe. Is Coop the greatest FPL manager alive?

And 2/3 of the way into September I keep the top spot on PF over MatthewR!

Manager of the Month

Next week will see some great matchups, headlined by what should be a fun one between MatthewR and Dylan! Elsewhere, Chris looks to somehow stop Coop and Darryan takes on Zach, with the winner to go to 9 points! Full matchups are as follows:

• Kevin (6) vs Alex (12)
• John (11) vs Luke (2)
• Jesse (8) vs Matthew (1)
• Dylan (7) vs MatthewR (4)
• Darryan (10) vs Zach (5)
• Coop (3) vs Chris (9)

Shoutouts this week go to me and MatthewR for our 3 winstreaks!

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Stats

Copium Tables

Performance Table

Luck Table

xP Table (manager vs average)

All Manager Table

Statistical Breakdowns

Gameweek Breakdown

Manager Breakdown

Timelines

Position Timeline

Points Timeline

Points For Timeline

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The League of Champions

Welcome to gameweek 5 of the League of Champions! Another week of high scoring and close matchups across the board, led by Jesse's single point victory over Angus, 52-51! Elsewhere, we saw another 50+ point clash between Dylan and Andrew, where the former came out victorious 58-54, a one point win for Alex to upset Tori 34-33, a DRAW between me and Scott at 47, and a close shave for Luke as he defeated Maddie 44-41. Full results are as follows:

• John 21-27 Travis
• Kevin 46-36 JohnM
• Zach 55-31 Jackson
• Darryan 37-47 Charlotte
• Alex 34-33 Tori
• Luke 44-41 Maddie
• Matthew 47-47 Scott
• Dylan 58-54 Andrew
• Coop 70-38 Gavin
• MatthewR 41-28 Cole
• Chris 39-32 ZachA
• Jesse 52-51 Angus
• Mack 57-40 Brylan
• Amber 71-34 Anthony
• ChrisB 44-50 Aarushi
• Kim 45-25 Emma
• Delaney 31-54 Katie
• Morgs 25-56 Morgan

And over on the table, just 2 managers are left at the top with 4/4 wins: Luke and Chris! They are just ahead of unbeaten Scott, whose draw took him up to 10 points ahead of about 10 managers. The elimination line currently sits just below Maddie, who is 1 of 4 draw-getters in this league stage and sits on 4 points. And going into the penultimate gameweek of the group stage we have some huge matchups, headlined by a top 8 showdown between Charlotte and Zach! Elsewhere, we'll have the privilege of viewing a John derby between John and JohnM, a huge match in the race for top 8 between Jesse and Scott, and a match between two very in form teams in Amber and Aarushi! Full matchups are as follows:

• John (32) vs JohnM (34)
• Kevin (9) vs Jackson (28)
• Zach (8) vs Charlotte (6)
• Darryan (22) vs Tori (19)
• Alex (23) vs Maddie (24)
• Luke (1) vs Travis (13)
• Matthew (14) vs Andrew (26)
• Dylan (18) vs Gavin (4)
• Coop (17) vs Cole (33)
• MatthewR (10) vs ZachA (29)
• Chris (2) vs Angus (25)
• Jesse (11) vs Scott (3)
• Mack (21) vs Anthony (16)
• Amber (15) vs Aarushi (6)
• ChrisB (20) vs Emma (36)
• Kim (12) vs Katie (5)
• Delaney (27) vs Morgan (31)
• Morgs (35) vs Brylan (30)

League of Champions - Group Stage Table

League of Champions - Group Stage Matchups

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Power Rankings

On the bubble (in no order): Tori, Kevin, Coop, MatthewR, Amber, ChrisB, Angus Fell off: Tori

10 - Matthew (NEW) - League A - Last 4: 31 (L), 47 (W), 65 (W), 47 (W) - I'm so back because why not. Second week at the top of League A and the PF table so maybe it isn't a complete fluke. And did I get lucky this week? Maybe. Did Ampadu get an assist from a throw in and hit defcon with Thiaw in the final minutes for me to win by 1? Yes. And did Awoniyi get a straight red for Kevin while I decided to bench Foden at like 11pm the night before the deadline? Also yes. But hey, that's 100% skill that I benched Foden and Kerkez and started Neco Williams and Ampadu and those are 4 button presses that took a lot of energy and coordination to make. Anyway, my team is spotty at best but also I've only scored less than 47 in week 1, so it kinda sounds like my ragtag group led by a forward line of Isak, Igor Jesus, and Nicolas Jackson is doing something right. Well, maybe not JACKson, but he'll come good :copium:. Behind them though is a defcon midfield if I've ever seen one made up of Xhaka, Ampadu, and Alex Scott (and maybe Sarr will realize he should maybe play for the team he's contracted to eventually) (or maybe he'll just get uninjured if that's the problem). Oh and Gvardiol is somehow the like second best defender or something and Jacquet is the second coming of Konate except less giraffe, so we take those.

9 - Anthony (-2) - League C - Last 4: 43 (L), 43 (W), 71 (W), 34 (W) - A win in slightly less convincing fashion than past weeks for Anthony as he dodged a bullet by not pulling one of the 6 managers who scored over 40 in League C this week, but a win nonetheless as Delap, Anderson, Van de Ven, and Vuskovic all put up "got an assist" and "got a clean sheet" scores while Gakpo rehabbed, Cherki showed why he can't play winger like Ndiaye can, and Daniel Munoz played out of his mind but went home with a cool 2 points. Despite that, Isak and Delap are possibly just a better version of Isak, Igor Jesus, and Nicolas Jackson, and Anderson somehow is continuing the defensive contribution magic at his new club, despite them looking like overwhelming favorites the entire game against United's 10 men. Oh wait, City had 10 men?

8 - Scott (+1) - League B - Last 4: 64 (W), 41 (L), 47 (W), 47 (W) - Not really sure what's up with 47 pointers but apparently my dad and I are on the same wavelength as we tied in the cup and both had single digit league victories with 0 overlap in players. Although, he also didn't have a single double digit scorer (I only had 1, Gvardiol's 11) so we have that going for us. His points though came from Saka's last minute penalty, Kluivert's first goal of the season coming against Brentford, Nunes playing out of his gourd against Manchester United, Murillo taking the weird path for a center back to get 6 points with an assist, defcon, and yellow card, and Alisson doing… something? in the 0-0 match against Fulham. Unfortunately though for Scott's cup ambitions, Le Bris decided to substitute Isidor into the match against Arsenal 6 minutes too late so he didn't get a goal contribution. Does he not read these or something?

7 - Andrew (+1) - League B - Last 4: 53 (L), 28 (L), 32 (D), 54 (W) - And since apparently I have the memory of the goldfish, Andrew climbs! He's snapped out of his weird ~30 point streak with another mid-50s score coming from a bunch of 1 pointers + the Joao Pedro classic 1g1a, Rogers and Tavernier goals, double Brighton clean sheets, and an Evanilson assist for the 3rd time in 4 weeks. Reminiscent of Ollie Watkins a few seasons ago… when I scored something like 1900 points across the entire season - is that in Andrew's future? Perhaps an Evanilson jersey to go with your promotion? Regardless, Andrew does have some dead wood. And by dead wood I think Caicedo might be actually dead, since he's out until 2027 at least. Add to that Dango seemingly being replaced by a Burnley player, Aaronson losing his starting spot after… 1 week, and Lacroix being benched because Xabi wants to see Hull City do well. Well, we'll see, he did score 54 this week.

6 - Luke (-) - League A - Last 4: 53 (W), 45 (W), 37 (L), 44 (W) - Not to spoil anything but the rest of this list may or may not be pretty predictable considering the score distribution this week. Which works for me because it's already 11pm and I gotta wrap this thing up eventually. Anyway, starting with Luke! Who put up a just-under league average performance, but I won't fault him for it too much considering he has a -3 for Disasi on his field and an 11 pointer on his bench. And actually, I will fault him for that, because he started "hasn't played in half a year" Grealish over a defender who is against a team who hasn't scored or even really looked like scoring this season. Anyway, he was rescued (once again) by Pascal Gross along with some mid range returns from Palmer, Van Hecke, and Murillo. Oh and if DCL would've gotten the extra 2 points he deserved it would've been over for him.

5 - Zach (-) - League A - Last 4: 47 (W), 45 (L), 35 (L), 55 (W) - Over to another League A manager who put up enough points to stay exactly where he is in this list, although he did beat the average despite not quite having a 17 pointer on his team. Just the 15 from Schade was enough. And credit where credit's due, Zach did call it when we said that Manchester United had to lose (or at least get battered by Haaland) for him to win in FPL this week. And the 9 points from the Haaland goal that shouldn't have counted alongside the 6 from Ruben Dias's clean sheet were just enough for him to pick up the 3 point win. Other notable returns this week for Zach included Rice's assist for Bruno Guimaraes's absolute screamer, the Kinsky clean sheet against Everton, and the Gomez 3 pointer in a game that had 5 Brighton goals.

4 - Katie (-) - League C - Last 4: 30 (L), 80 (W), 37 (L), 54 (L) - A slightly unfortunate one for Katie as she occupied the Jesse role in Zach's win by losing by 3 or less (while scoring 50+), so I don't fault her team too much here. And honestly much to be said considering her entire defense returned (Tarky(8), Matheus Nunes(9), Branthwaite(6), Alisson(9)), Gibbs-White ~~scored~~got an assist and 3 bonus points, and Evanilson was mentioned like 3 ranks up. Oh and you can't forget she has probably the best midfielder to ever do it in Alex Scott. And she would've won too, if only Iraola decided to start the child, or the manager who shall not be named at Spurs started Kudus, or Le Bris had put Isidor on the field 6 minutes earlier (for the people who have skipped to this section (aka, Katie), I already made this joke). Anyway, in a world where Carrick isn't the United manager and/or Bryan Mbeumo can finish his dinner Bruno Fernandes would've had at least an assist this week, so she has that going for her. Especially considering what may or may not occur should United lose against Fulham on Sunday.

3 - Charlotte (-) - League C - Last 4: 50 (D), 50 (W), 42 (W), 47 (W) - And then there were three: only 3 managers have scored 40 or more in all 4 gameweeks, Charlotte, Scott, and MatthewR. Sorry Matthew, not sure how you haven't made this list yet but uh maybe next time buddy. Anyway, this is supposed to be about Charlotte, who has successfully kept her point spread locked between 42 and 50, which is so surprising that I'm almost convinced she benched Dorgu just so she wouldn't hit 51? Regardless, Igor Jesus scored his first goal of the season (was it last week I said he was due a goal? The week before?) so hopefully Glasner will realize that he is better than double-bloody-nose Dan Ndoye, Tavernier scored his 3rd goal of the season, Schade scored his 3rd goal of the season, Guehi got his 3rd return of the season, and Trafford somehow nearly gave away 3 goals against Newcastle all by himself. That's about all I have to say and I'm kinda crashing so I don't think I can look at a team that willingly owns Dalot for much longer.

2 - Aarushi (-) - League C - Last 4: 55 (W), 51 (L), 33 (W), 50 (W) - Another big week for Aarushi as her hospital ward grew to include Luke Shaw, yet was no match for the dynamic duo of Gross + Raya who scored over 60% of her 50 points this week. And that was with two 0's on the field, Ndiaye only getting 45 minutes (and being a midfielder his 10 defensive contributions were worth nothing), Belloumi single handedly causing Reece James to only score 1, Phil Foden single handedly causing Harry Maguire to only score 1, and Matty Cash being out on vacation or something. Sangare and Muharemovic did their part though combining their effort for 11 points (that's just over 20%).

1 - Gavin (-) - League B - Last 4: 63 (W), 52 (W), 59 (W), 38 (W) - Apparently Gavin's team is fallible? Although he didn't lose, he did score less than 7/11 of the League B members. It's just too bad that not every week will see Ndiaye and Cherki playing defense for 70 minutes, Tzolis and Odegaard up against 2nd best defense in the league Sunderland, and Neco Williams going up against famed scorers Aston Villa, who surely are scoring multiple goals per game so far this season. Despite the sub-average week for Gavin, his defense did look great, with Everton staying consistent, Araujo looking like he's the first choice right back for Liverpool, and I guess Tottenham has an okay defense? A goalie is a goalie okay. Plus, Justin should have +3 for assisting DCL's stolen goal, so there's that. Regardless, someone needs to stop this man one of these weeks, preferably before he creates an insurmountable gap and makes my weekly updates less interesting. Or maybe, just maybe, I started a League C so that the other leagues can afford to be less interesting?